My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
