if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
