I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My bed smells like the plague
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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