It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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