Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
