you win again, gameday.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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