She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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