People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
