We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize