The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
