hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
