Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
