TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Who died my cat blue again?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
