I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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