when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
nutella sex= disaster
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
