i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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