Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
