I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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