i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
