Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
