She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
a search helicopter?!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This is classic penis vs brain.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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