I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize