"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
