Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
