tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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