That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
