Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
