i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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