The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
