Well apparently he's into motor boating.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
handjob tips. give me some.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
