Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
