she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
