based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
