Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
