I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
