Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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