in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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