It's like God shit irony all over that family
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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