If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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