Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
soo... how was my night?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
