Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
