It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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