id be glad to
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
