she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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