Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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