You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize