been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
