He told me they were just razor bumps!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize