I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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