I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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