i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
