Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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