What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
