Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
