Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
