did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
