i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
