I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
