she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
