I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This is the high leading the old right now
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
