He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
