I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
