yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize