My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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