the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
